early hours and sleepless

It's 6am and i've been up all night cant sleep obviously '  so on my new' expensive"  computer i thought i would write a bit about myself.
I 'on tralling through the other blog sites i read so much about ,I, this, i that ,or me myself and i and to me it is so off putting to read someone constantly referring to themselves all the time because there really is a lot of crap (some people think that about my witterings)  But 'as someone who is just learning about what it's like to think in ways i never thought i would reach ,ie' waking up without having to put a needle into myself  so that i could function'  does take some getting used to ,also the feeling feelings i never had for so long ,like wanting a woman 'or just plain old boring stuff that to me is new ' like eating 'when i'm hungry  because believe it or not after so long of not eating your stomach has to adjust to this new me ,this new stuff coming in to my belly and the stomach has to cope with this food that it did not get so often for such a long time .
So all these boring things are only now getting back to what a stomach should be  oh and it's spreading,its amazing what difference a year makes on your body when you are eating properly ,so i will need to update my picture as i look so different now ,and idon't want to be accused of dishonesty .

As this blog is about the process and changes involved with coming off drugs and the coping mechanisms that come into play or not ,as the case may be ,so i must try and stick to it ,   but i do go off into tangents  about other things ,  politics and the like ,  like on another blog space i have talking about my childhood and the trying to understand where the basis of the problens started ,but i really have been avoiding writing on it because of the memories it brought up and how they would come back in funny ways when i least expect them to,  and how they affect my sleep and dreams.

It's nice to read the comments that others have written (not too many)  so it helps quite a bit when the times i feel i am talking into the ether , cause lets face who will be interested in my shit when their own lives are far more interesting  so getting past the first line for them is hard ,but i,m not doing it for them it's just a way of getting it out and just hope that something good will come of it ,  either to myself or others might also get some understanding as to the complexities that go into the making a mind and how drugs can fuck up  your thought process and confuses so many other parts of the brain ,sorry about that ,it's just that i have been engrossed in the workings of my computer  and i can't help realising how so like the brain the computers are trying to become,   The brain is still melleniums ahead of computers .
But the comfusion of the processes are so simmilar  and i find it fascinating trying to work them out ,but like fucking up my brain ,i'm frightened of doing it to my computer,but stopping myself from pressing buttons is allmost impossible .
So what i have done is try enroll on a course for computer knowledge,but it was so strange this number i rang for computer courses asked me so many questions about myself that had nothing whatsoever to do with computer courses,i suspect BT' were security checking again as my use of my computer must be confusing to the listeners or watchers ,so let me tell them '  are you listening ' look i am as honest as the day is long now 'and no-one uses my computer but me , I am sorry about that but there are so many watching and listening to us on our computers now that its becoming a joke ,and especially us in BRITAIN ',and no i am not being paranoid ,it is them that have become paranoid so much so that our computer use is being interfered with in the pretence that it is our computers playing up ,but hey a certain amount we have to put up with because of what could happen ,as long as it is known that we know .
 That must sound mad 'but anyway never mind its all in a days shit that we live with in todays world..