Playing chess ,becoming angry

I have been told to try and use my brain more after the accident and other things ,so i thought about some games that were advertised that were leading with' Test your brain " with these games ,well 'these games were just a con to get into your back pocket'.

So i thought of chess' and as i had not played it for such a long time i started playing the computer ,it has levels of abilities and plays according to your level .

This computer has worked me and my level out , at first it beat me hand's down, boy did i get angry ,in my mind the computer turned into a person' i thought of him and created this character as he thrashed me time after time he turned into this monster " this monster"  that moved so quick'   out thought me,    every time he took a piece it was like a slap"     my face was red" ,raging ? ,not with slaps ,my cheeks face was purple as i caught my image on the reflection on the computer.

This went on and on and i was playing chess moves as i tried to sleep'...       as i made coffee ',, a move made in the space wherever i was looking , my cup turned into a night, then a bishop' and even my imaginary games i lost' .
So this went on day ,  and night ,this computer was showing me up and that my brain was'nt working properly and i was so fucking stupid  ,as time after time my queen would disappear into the ether and a sign would come up ,  your move'  to make it worse it flashes ,in and out your move ' your move'  your stupid ' your stupid ' began to feel  and i made  it worse by my anger ' because my anger was so bad i nearly had a heart  attack' .

I  realised eventually '  that it was me' that  was turning in to the monster and the angrier i got the quicker he beat me; Then i realised that i was beating myself and on that realisation ' lo and behold i started to beat him not just the slaps he gave me but i was punching his lights out ,during the games he would say i'm thinking and he would stop (he was re-programming) and with those words i realised that there was nothing really wrong with my brain,the most important part was working' working perfectly .

After those week's of being beaten by this character,  chess"  with that  the realisation ' i thought that it would have cheered me up, but it did'nt,  it left me in no mans land ' my brain functioning normally ,it's just that my control was haywire,  I can't control the outbursts  of anger at my letting a bloody computer making me feel that it was a person.
Another thing i am worried about is accusing someone wrongly of taking something or borrowing something ,call it what you will .

My father has a problem with nicking silly things ,example my mother would have spent a lot of money on food in the supermarket and my father would make a big thing about nicking a tin of beans and he would do it  for just the kick of it ,i  have to admit that i have that bug ,for example i am allways nicking teaspoons ,don't ask me why ,i also nicked a mug and little nick nacks ,but my days on drugs i nicked more but thankfully i am finished with that ,  i mention it because i recognize that trait and maybe i might be wrong ,but when you have moved in them circles you recognize these things and i am worried that i have branded someone wrongly ,after all i am not working on the full cylinders so its easy for me to get confused .
When i was on drugs and someone came in to your house and if they used drugs then there would be a problem so you would watch them all the time and i hated it because ,there was one thing that was branded into us as a family and that was to treat someones home like you would your own and being suspicious of someone was a no -no because that would be very rude indeed .
A long time ago i remember someone taken something and they brought it back and it bugged me for so long of why they did it ,it was years ago   and maybe i was wrong ,it's that bloody feeling i hate and i mentioned it to someone and now i am worried that i gave the wrong impression by asking the question ,as it was years ago and it still bothers me but as i trust everyone now, so   it should not bother me and it does'nt ,thank god everyone that comes to my house i trust implicitly .
I remember going round to someones home when i was using drugs and their suspicion about me was infuriating,  but they were not to know about my odd good trait i got from my upbringing .