this blogging thing

I heard it said that those that blog into the ether are rather sad individuals,so i took a troll through the blogosphere and yes there really is a lot of sad individuals writing things that no-body will read or if they did will be bored out off their socks.
I look out my window at the moment and the streets are mostly free of traffic and it is very quiet ,most people i imagine are in front of screens of one sort or another .
On the news Israel has just murdered another 100 or so innocent people and still it is quiet outside still the traffic is not moving still many people are staring into screens .
So still nothing has changed in the world ,still things are happening that are evil and murderous in the world still the blogosphere is boring .
Still another hour has went by .
I remember as a child  my two brothers and i went out into the snow to play  but after a while we became bored so i brought my two brothers round to a stairway where i knew someone lived ,we made a pile of snowballs and when we were ready i went to the letter box and shouted through to Nelly (we called her Nelly Horror because she was so very very ugly,  poor woman)i shouted to nelly to come because my mother wanted to see her and as usual she said tell your mother i am coming ,(like she allways said when in the i've been sent to get her)
Well out she came and we battered her with snowballs, we laughed so much,but"  like children  ,we soon forgot about it
  untill one other boring day i and the rest of my brothers were sitting with my father watching something on tv it was not very interesting and my mother came in and slapped me on the head, shocked"  we asked what was wrong ,she repeated all what Nelly had told her about the snowballs, and   immediately everyone in the house went into fits of laughter including my father who started it all off,   the sort of fits where, when a lull in the laughter comes, someone got up and mimicked Nelly getting pummelled , and again we all went into fits where even eventually my mother became involved and she made us laugh more as she was a perfect mimick  and poor Nelly's bodily movements were put to good use in driving us further into fits of laughter .
I mentioned that story because of the very thin line from feeling dreadfully bored and depressed  and becoming incredibly happy about something ;   but what happens when you are stuck on one side and there are no poor Nelly's to drag you into another place, where' for a time you have happiness  on tap.

It is a very strange , when you forget what belly laugh is and how it can take hold  , I  had a couple of belly laughs just  recently  but when i did   i felt like i'm about to have a heart attack "and i'm not just saying that "because the last one i had actually made me vomit " it was very  frightening,      who would have thought laughter would be so  frightening,   "but at least it is a normal feeling" off sort's.

I am also on another blog trying to write about my life in some sort of chronological order ,but it is not in me because i find writing about my childhood and the memories are old wounds and i feel like i am ripping of the scabs and having to try and examine those memories from a not involved feeling is i think beyond my capabilities as a writer .
How do you explain feelings  that made you who you are ,there is the events that i remember ,but i have managed to see those events in a not involved way so as to try and understand what was going on in each of the minds of those that i remember and the event itself and then try and reach some understanding without my own pain influencing the thought process,and the other hard part is not allowing the pain i felt to interfere with the complete truth and not just see it from my point of view  of the event .
So you see i start of remembering something  think i have it ,then because i want to make sense of it then go over it all again and it falls apart from my original thought about the event ,and it is that that makes writing and remembering so difficult...