Wednesday, 24 December 2008

I sit here alone Christmass eve on my own ,surely if someone were to offer up an example of how you will end up if you do not live life in some sort of normality like other human beings that go about their lives every day ,then this is it "alone"with not one other human being taking an interest whether you are alive or dead ,sorry that is slightly dickensian in it's utterance but it is true and no amount of gloss can alter that fact.
If it were a dickens novel i would have some carol singers at my window or some neighbour appear on the scene with nice cake or something with twee'y words fluttering around and out her mouth ,ah" but reality kicks in and my true voice is shouting" stop bloody feeling sorry for yourself you have food your warm and for once in quite a long time i have control over what shape my life will take and what choices i have are not dictated to me by the need to get money to buy drugs .

At this time of year it is a very sad time indeed for those who have to keep a habit going and if you are the type of drug addict who "because of money "can only get enough money to buy enough drugs to get by each and every day ,ie'either shoplifter ,beggar or just someone who works by theiir wits and by chance ,then you are solely at the mercy of the trully shit of the earth ,because the dealers who are big enough to have a little holiday so do not supply  those who supplied the street dealers who sold on to those who get by each day ,so they are now left to the scammers ,those that keep their own drug habit by scamming other users by either pretend they have gear,(as every proper dealer is resting)the scarcity means that the day to day'ers are now prayed upon by the scammers.
Allthough they know they are  taking a big risk  because they are in first stage withdrawall  and are like fodder  to the really scum of the street scene.

I mentioned all that because i remember abou two years ago i was at the mercy of the scammers one christmass day ,i had money but could not find a dealer as everyone i knew was off ,meaning their phones were off   . (i will come back to this soon and fill in the final part of what went on)          






9

PBS Nature