my lost posts

I am writing this after a few days off so to speak ,but i have got myself in to a muddle where this post is concerned ,sorry i meant Blog ,that is i wrote quite a long post  two days ago ,explaining all that went on when i went to see my neurologist  on the 8th mon, but i tried to preview it and bloody lost it and can not bring it up on my site ,not only that but i did it yesterday as well  so i am a bit dubious about writing in this Blog now,   it may be that i changed script or something .
Well " as i said i seen my neurologist on mon  and he wrote me a report that is long on covering his professional ass ,but he is long on telling what is going on ,but in a way i admire his honesty because the symptoms i am showing must be confusing to him as they are bloody infuriating to me ,   but what bloody annoyed me the most is that he wants me to see a psychiatrist as the medication i am getting for depression seemingly has side effects that can be odd also he wants to assure his self and his successor as to my mental state;     after working myself into a rage about his bloody ways (he is retiring ) but when i thought it over it made sense ,  i'm sorry for boring any readers about this  but it is causing me problems  ,i have headaches ,not splitting but painfull enough to drive me to distraction ,the curious thing is they are not allways the same or in the same place
I am still compis mentis ,    but my body seem's to be jerking spastic like when i get worked or nervous ,basically most reactions seems to make me jerk about ,but if i am really calm then i am pretty much normal ,
but all that changes when i have to walk anywhere ,my body seems to react strangely and i feel stiff and i stop mid step sometimes ,it's driving me mad "no pun intended considering my condition and it is so embarassing