OK,where do i start again after so long not keeping my promise about writing a bit every day ,well like most of what i say I'll do  i do not do ,i mean the important stuff the thing's that will or would make the difference to this life that has been assigned to me,because in a certain frame of mind i get the feeling that no matter what i do i can not get away from what it is that is me ,I'm talking about the important stuff the stuff that is the essence and may control your destiny,i am not saying it is true it's just a thought .

I think that if your life takes you into areas that in essence is  alien to you ,IE you surround yourself with people or thing's ,  that you think will make you happier or change your life in a way that leaves behind the shit that you were or were living ,then you hope that thing's will only get better and you will live happy ever after ,  well that may be wrong because what if there is a road that you are on and you have to travel it and only once you except that will you then be able to  go on to learning to live with what you have  IE your most important thing's like your personality that makes you and what others see and either like or don't like and inevitably you end up with mostly people you like and they like you (well as near as ) 
.

So surrounding yourself with people that are alien to what your comfortable with eventually has a cost because you can never let go  because you are constantly trying to live up to what you think they like ,or the image you think they like about you