re-

I've not been keeping to what i said,"when do i ever" anyway, my point is " i have to try and earn a living,  if i am going to go on breathing in the same oxygen as others,  ok " now the world is my oyster ,i'm not banging up smack ,i'm not filling my day with getting money to keep my habit ,or" as others would see it ,

"making other people pay for my habit"   Yes" ok,  and me, now ,i admit it, that" allthough it was my actions that were making other people pay for my day to day shit sorry drugs,  so surely i should see the benefits about the prospects i have now," rather than

what i could have .

well that is the mantra from those in the business of trying to help you change.

.

I constantly hear those on one side saying that we"the drug addicts  don't care about what we do," or have done "to get money for drugs ,well on the contrary the thing is we do ,  and a lot of the times it adds another nail  in the coffin to the addict when trying to give up and move into this life that is held up to the addict as better"  than the life they and i  have been living.

well "  the answer should be yes" but"   sometimes it's not,  sometimes the pain is left in a place that is safe and far from harming further the addict,or the person that is the addict.

So we ask people to come off drugs and move into life again, and in theory thats fine ,but far from realistic" thats why so many fail " years on drugs that has kept them safe from the usual facts of life, and then,  bam"the day to day facts of living, allong with the pain they have been hiding from, and finally" the drug itself, that has kept them safe" begins to look a lot less   unattractive,  to the psyche, of the person and  is seen " as not to be such a good idea after all .

I'm talking personally now, and have the added fact of age and health , also the psychological damage done from both the drug's and the shock of having to deal with the health problems,  as living on drugs,shields you from,   so there is a strong mental shut down,    and that drugs keeps you safe and free from the pains of reality..   Now  the facts come into play and i am left with ,what's the point ,by the time i deal with the issue of not having to need Heroin and by that time how old will i be and will it be worth it as my life is wasted and giving the bloody health problems  is it fucking worth it.